Father

Let me just put into writing the thoughts that come passing through my mind...

For three weeks, most of the time, I don't go home because of so many school-related works and activities that are needed to be done. In effect, I had an asthma attack yesterday. I went home early this afternoon and my father took care of me before leaving again for church. That reminds me of the day when I got the wound in this picture. I came home that day in pain and it was my father who attended to my need. I'm so blessed that I have a father who loves me so much.


Then I realized that I'm not only blessed because of a father who is always there for me. I have another Father up there who loves me endlessly and unconditionally. He has been so gracious to me. It doesn't matter what I do, He lavished His unfailing, great, wonderful, good, abounding, firm, faithful. and enduring love to me.


I wronged Him many times. I have been a stubborn daughter. Still, my mistakes don't make Him love me less. I don't deserve anything but He still choose to love me. I can never thank Him enough for this...

Placid amidst the Storm

     From time to time, we go through some hard times that make us feel bereaved. Welcome to life! Jesus Himself said that in this world we'll experience difficulties. But this fact shouldn't discourage us. Rather, we should take heart for He has conquered them all.
     This is where I am at the moment- in a stony path where the enemy is trying to destroy God's work in my life. A brother (in Christ) did a "wicked thing" to me. I don't say this to condemn him. I understand that as imperfect people, we sometimes commit slip-ups. I just can't give the right term for what happened.
     That friend of mine is important to me. He is younger and is the Proverb friend that "sticks closer than a brother". But that certain event put an end to the relationship we once had. And it's painful, like a heavy baggage that I keep on carrying in this journey.
     This is life. People change. There are friendships that are seasonal. And if it's time for you to let them go, you have to let them go...

     Today is a Monday. I should be in class and have lots of things to accomplish. But due to a storm, classes in all levels are suspended. I consider this as a favor from God because we don't have the comparative analysis yet, my sculpture isn't finished, and I'm not ready for my report. All these are due today. If I'm a typical student, the first thing that I'm gonna be doing is to plunge on them all. I'll only make myself stressed. So I didn't. I know what's the source of comfort and relief- my devotion. Right away, I spent time with God, longer than our usual "date". As expected, I wasn't forsaken. My dear Father spoke to me through His Word.
     He made me realize that He can make me forget all my troubles and make me fruitful in suffering. He is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. That's why this journal is entitled Placid amidst the Storm. It's both literally and figuratively: literally because there's really a storm and I'm happy despite of it because I can work on my requirements (BWAHAHA!), and figuratively because I know I can sail on though it's stormy because Jesus is guiding the way.
     What more can I ask for? The earth is filled with His love. This unfailing, great, wonderful, good, abounding, firm, faithful, and enduring (forever) love satisfies me. I'll not be looking for anything else!

Amazing September

Amazing.

It has been my favorite expression lately. I can’t find the best word to describe our God for He is altogether perfect. He’s so great and soooo amazing. My heart is filled with immeasurable and indescribable joy because of what God has done and continuously doing in my life.

September is a big month for us. It’s the time when Kutless is coming. We’re all excited and we looked forward for this event. Aside from that, it’s also the birth month of my beloved friend (Yung totoo?).

September 18, a day before his actual birthday.

I gave him a card I thought for so long how I will make and waited ‘till the clock strikes 12 o’ clock to greet him through a text message.

The following day (September 19), his actual birthday, Mark asked me what my plan is. Then we both agreed that we’re gonna surprise him on Friday (September 23), the first day of the Kutless Concert.

September 23.

Thank God we don’t have classes today. After I meet my Connect Group, I went straight at Rob to buy a half-roll cake at Goldilocks and of course, candles. That day, I volunteered at the Kids’ Tower. The concert will start at 7:30 pm but I came at COP as early as 4:00, coz Mark told me he’ll be arriving by 4:30. I’ll give him the second birthday card I made that their HDC friends may write in.

As I was waiting for him, I had an idea when I saw Gerson. I asked a favor from the J-Factors to write on the card. Pastora Me-ann was beside me as I call them outside the tower. Because of Jun’s initial reaction when he saw the card, Pastora sensed the “smelly-feeling” I have for Lay. She now knows it, and even teased me the following Sunday morning.

Before the concert ended, I went inside the auditorium. There I found Ate Khayzee, Mark, EJ, Lorence and the last to come was Telli. Great job, Mark. You’re friends were complete! Little did I know that we’re gonna mess up. Palpak! Instead of surprising Lay, it’s us who were surprised by Lay’s unexpected coming. They are still writing on the card and I’m still preparing the candles! Weeeeee!!!!

I really don’t know what I will do then. The truth is, I don’t know how I will act when he’s around. I just went with the flow. And in the end, I know I made him happy. As Mark says he will appreciate the effort. Thanks to all his friends who helped me though I know I’m only a “sampid” in their group.

September 24.

Once again, I can say that this day is amazing! I posted in the Cool Aides and enjoyed the wonderful night of concert. God spoke to me through John Michael (close? =D)

“I am created to give glory, honor and praises to our Lord Jesus Christ!”

Amen. And I want to live the purpose I was created for.

September 25.

Last day and is the busiest. Kutless is gonna be leading the worship at the 10 am service. As much as I want to attend, I can’t because I have to be at the Tower. Prior to that, I did my devotions and felt the touch of God- completing the work he has started in my heart. He pointed me to the thing that I needed to change in my life. It’s about my focus. He told me in Luke 10: 41-42 that I am so worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. I was so preoccupied with the thoughts of him (take note, small letter h for him)- my feelings for him, my plans where he was also there and other things about him- that I cannot give my full attention and whole-hearted devotion to the things that He wanted me to do. Psalm 73: 25-26, 28 became a reality to me.

”Whom I have in heaven but You?

and earth has nothing I desire

besides You.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart

and my portion forever.

But as for me, it is good to be

near God.

I have made my Sovereign

Lord my refuge;

I will tell of all Your deeds.”

I have to stop from here and make myself busy in serving God. Oh how I love to worship and serve Him.

In the Kids’ Tower this morning, I enjoyed a great time with the kids. Sickness (cough and colds) did not hinder me from leveling myself to their energy. We had an astonishing time of worshiping God, learning His Word and a new memory verse song. It was 2 Corinthians 5:17-18.

Then in the afternoon, I found myself busy in helping out for the preparation for the Water Baptism night. After making sure that everything’s all right, we attended the last concert. We ran, jumped, shouted, and took pleasure inside the auditorium. Amazing! It is well! It is well! Praise You, Jesus!

For the first time in my life, I felt the fulfillment of being a Levite. A cannot pen what exactly I mean, for words are not enough to describe what I feel. But I know in my heart what I want now and the path that I am heading at.

I’m too young. It’s only my first year at COP. Great things are gonna happen, I know. Wherever I will be assigned- parking lot, ladders, corners of the House, unnoticed doors, “back stage”- I can be joyful, more than joyful. Contented because I know it is God whom I am pleasing. His applause I desire, not of men’s.

This night ended with tears in my eyes. I’m better now. I want more of You, Lord. I’m falling deeper for You, JESUS!

Freedom Writers (Movie Review)

                 Honestly speaking, I don’t know how I will start with my review of the movie. Maybe because I up until now, I can still feel the stabs that it made in my heart. It actually left pain in my bosom. A pain not made by hurt, but made by passion.  I feel for her- Ms. Erin Gruwell (Hilary Swank) - because I am also a teacher (well, soon to be!). I understand the inner force that drives her to fulfill the responsibilities of being a teacher not just in the four corners of the class room but also in the life of her “kids”, as she calls them.

                Freedom Writers is a 123-minute movie based on the journals written by the actual Freedom Writers Gruwell taught in the mid-90. She is an idealistic white teacher who is now ready to venture the real world as she teaches at Woodrow Wilson High School. There, she found herself in a class of various groups - African Americans, Latinos, Asians, juvenile delinquents, gang members, and underprivileged students from poor neighborhood. They don’t value education and feel compelled to attend school just to make it through the day. But, Gruwell believed that all of them have stories to tell. She did her best to motivate her students and to make them trust her. In the end, she was successful in making her students realize that there’s more to life, that they can have bigger goals other than reach the age of 18.

                Teachers and students can both learn from the principles Miss G (that’s how she was addressed by her beloved students) laid out in the movie.

                To the teachers, we (yes, I include myself) should not be contented in just achieving the objectives we set in our Lesson Plans beforehand. The measure of our success as teachers is not based by how high or low the grades of our students are.  Being a teacher does not end when the bell rings because the actual class room is life itself. We are a powerful agent of change for we hold the lives of our students in the palm of our hands. To make them or to break them- it’s our decision. That’s why they say that Education is not just a simply a profession, but a vocation. It takes love to go through all the challenges. It takes a burning passion to set the lives of the students ablaze, to help them pursue their dreams. Like what a famous quotation says, “A teacher affects eternity; no one can tell where his influence stops.”

                Be inspired, Teachers. No other job is ever fulfilling than this: to see the lives of your students forever changed.

               To the students, value education. Don’t ever think that you are wasting time in school.  As young people, our views are limited. We don’t see things the way a “grown-up” see them. Sometimes, we think that life is all about pleasure. Other times, we think that we are only living for ourselves and we don’t anymore care for others.

                Life is not like that. We are living in a world of diversity. No two men are exactly the same. We are created uniquely, different from others. Let us recognize that as we share our stories, as we open up our hearts to one another, we can create a better world together.

                Bottom line, it’s a worth-watching movie. You just have to be patient if you are not fund of heavy movies, or else you’ll find it boring. There are so many narrations and if you are not attentive, you’ll miss small details that are significant to the totality of story. Another plus factor that makes it interesting is that the group of teenage actors they’ve brought together is perfectly cool. They are really good and portrayed their roles well.

                Let me end this review with a line from one of the characters, the old lady who helped Anne Frank during the holocaust (yes, you’re reading right. If you’ll watch the movie, you’ll find out what’s the significance of the story of Anne Frank in the movie). She says, “You are a hero yourself.”

                Agree. I believe so. You and I, we are a hero on our own little ways.

Looking Back

     It was more than two years since I got to know the Man who gave His life for me, whose blood was shed on the cross so that I will become free from the bondage of sins, and who loves me more than anyone on earth can do. Yes, two years has already passed yet I am still in the darkness. Day by day, I wake up in the morning being oblivious of my God. I don't care about anything at all. I was living a life the way I wanted it.

     Not until I met Rachelle again. I didn't hear anything about her since she was transferred again to block 2 after the second semester of our first year in College. She asked me how's my life now that we are in second year. I can still clearly recall the vivid images of that hot July afternoon. I was all alone in the Marulaya shed when she dropped by. We had a fun conversation and I told her honestly how far I am with Jesus. She felt sad for me and said that she is continuously praying for me, that God may lead me to a church that will take care of my Spiritual needs and help me grow in my faith. I felt guilty for myself. All these days, I am living a sinful life.

     But God's love is really true. Jesus proved it on the cross.  He does not look on us with anger no matter how big or small our sins are. He will forgive us if we repent. He will give us a new life if we accept Jesus in our hearts as our Lord and Savior.

     The following day, July 17, on that same place and time, Rachelle and I met again. Moments later, Kuya Mark, our President in Marulaya came with a classmate. They sat on the other side of the shed and if my memory serves me right, they are playing in the guitar the chords of Lord, I Offer You my Life. Without knowing it, God is already doing His move. He has answered my friend's prayer on that very day. Kuya Mark's classmate is the President of PLM-AIM, the Campus Ministry of the church I seldom attend with. When they heard of our conversation, Kuya Mark asks me if I attend services at C.O.P and then intoduced me to Kuya Eljay. I can't believe it! We're just talking about it, then the following day, there's already an answer. God is great!

Kuya Eljay and me at PLM (after Company Call)

after the Candle Light Communion at C.O.P

my PLM- AIM family :)